A mind forever struggling with the ironies of life
Disposes one towards cynicism, laziness and strife
The likelihood of winning this unwinnable affair
Decreases with each day I spend delighting in despair

The thought that choices made are choices permanent
Bears heavy on my hopeful soul, causing great lament
To live a life in parallel, with alter ego strong
Entices with the scent of joy, missing way too long

I turn to this impossible, secondary me
With it’s life of happiness that might not ever be
For in this ghost of me that sometimes might meander
I see a glimpse of peacefulness in all its splendid candor

My forlorn thoughts betray a life that sometimes is okay
But settling is so hard to do when my heart begins to fray
What’s the point of tearing down what never can be torn
And mocking all the things I am that should be justly mourned

I chose this life so long ago that reason starts to fade
Replaced by all the choices that I can’t believe I made
I own my past with all the weight of proper misery
And know that to survive I must consider what might be

My writings beg forgiveness for the life I cannot lead
Suggesting that I might consider what I might now need
While no clear path arises fast from this inward turn
Eventually I must decide the life for which I yearn